Duet of One

It is a sad day. My uncle passed away in a remote village in Tamil Nadu. Only a week ago I had talked to him since I heard that he was diagnosed with cancer. We talked for over 20 minutes and I promised to call him back after the biopsy results were available. He returned home from Madurai- the doctors had given him only a few months but he did not last more than a couple of days. Minutes before he breathed his last he exclaimed to his wife that ‘Yogam Mani’ ( my late mother) was present in the room. My mother loved him a lot and she was there to escort him away from the pain and suffering of a bodily existence. He leaves behind a shattered and devastated family- wife , 2 boys and a girl. The girl and the eldest son are blind from birth. My uncle was the sole breadwinner for so many years and suffered the agony of watching the two visually challenged children grow into adults. They needed him for everything- to be led to the bathroom, to be fed and dressed and groomed, to go out to bri...

A message from an Advaita Portal brought me the news of the passing away of my Master- Ramesh Balsekar. He is and will always be the one who held my hand as I began my spiritual quest. I met him some 5 years ago for the first time. I had just finished reading "I am That " based on the talks with Nisargadutta Maharaj and was desperate to meet the master. When I learnt that he was already gone and that his disciple was teaching at his home in Pedar road, I wasted no time to be in his presence. I took the hot seat and when he asked me how I came to know of him I told him the aforesaid story. He then asked, "So you have come to see me before I pass away?" Amidst laughter in the room, I answered in the affirmative and he laughed loudly. From that day on I have seen him every year and my last glimpse of him was on June 14, 2009. There were no questions in my mind that day and I just wanted to spend some time in his presence. But I found myself again on the hot seat. He wa...

Finally, we braved the rough weather and storm threats to visit the iconic statute on the NYC waterfront. I have been here thrice and each time marvelled at the sheer size and the enormous planning and execution effort that went into creating this enduring vista for generations to enjoy.

This one is about the movie: The Bicycle Thief by Vittorio De Sica. Made in 1948, this movie has been my dad’s favorite and I have heard him mention this name in my childhood. So last week, when hunting for movie DVDS at the Bridgewater Library in NJ, I spotted it and clung on to it for dear life. The movie is set in a decrepit and seedy side of Rome and it is clear from the first frames that the movie has poverty for its backdrop. The constant crowd of miserable visitors standing for their turn at the clairvoyant’s living room is sure sign of a populace that is desparately hoping to ward off a dark future . A struggling family that sells its bed sheets to raise money for a bicycle tells you how immensely important it is to the breadwinner. The man is distraught when it is stolen and, with his son in tow, they scour the mean streets of Rome searching for it – it represents the family's only vehicle for earning a living and so the ground of their happiness. They do everything they c...

This is a movie that will stay with me till my last breath. It touched me as no other motion picture has. Henry Fonda and Katharine Hepburn have made this a movie to remember for a life time! I will say no more. Just get the DVD and view it. You will never ever forget it.

I was lucky recently to be able to discuss my advaita questions with two renowned masters. The "interviews" happened on the NeverNotHere .com portal and I skyped in for a direct one-on-one. Those interested can listen to these talks on: http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/1956036 http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/1853726 http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/1853939

I found this DVD at a local Library. This is perhaps the first ever movie on the convergence of Science and Spirituality. To demonstrate this fusion, the director works on two separate themes – at one level the movie follows the life experiences of a speech challenged woman who has the artistic sensibilities and a childlike wonder for the world’s fleeting images and frames that are characteristic of a photographer and on another level the hard –fact based insights from world-renowned Psychologists , Philosophers , Thinkers , Neurologists, Anesthesiologists and Physicists are interwoven into the story. Amit Goswami, the famous Physicists is both simple and profound as he explains his “science within consciousness” paradigm. Click here to leant more about this incredible movie

"The feeling that I have not realized is the obstruction to realization. In fact it is already realized and there is nothing more to be realized. Otherwise, the realization will be new. If it has not existed so far, it must take place hereafter. What is born will also die." Ramana Maharshi

I walked into my home that night and felt totally at ease- everything was exactly as I had left it a year ago. It seemed like a dream scene- my father and my in-laws were sitting there and I eagerly held their hands and felt their presence with every cell in my being. I was glad to feel the firm mattress and the old familiar pillow under my head as I drifted off to sleep. The jet lag caused me to wake up at 3:00 am and I waited for the first light of dawn to see the world that was removed from my vision a year ago. We hit the jogger’s park and someone mentioned that they are seeing us after a long time- we just smiled and continued walking. Later we went off to the vegetable market to soak in the steaming sunshine. We argued with the vendors and shaved of a few rupees- we tested to check if our negotiating skills were still intact. The Auto rickshaws passed inches away from our chappals and we did not cringe. The deaf and dumb vegetable vendor opposite the Oswal Grain store was at his ...

It is time to fly off. Today I will be traveling home to India. The week has been hectic with some really anxious moments when it seemed that everything we planned was coming apart. An immigration issue snowballed into a major crisis and everything was hanging in air. I realized that there was nothing I could do and I left it to Him. But everything resolved itself miraculously yesterday after a visit to the Immigration office and it seems like a miasma of doom has lifted off at least for now. Here is the Kishore song that captures my mood: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEol25DMA_Q And if you prefer Paul Simon, listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6K8wfyzAJQ

And finally it's April and soon it will be May- the month I make my trip to the homeland after a full year in the US of A. My dad will be glad to see me. And the irony of it is that he will be moving to New Zealand to live with my brother. And I will have to put him on a plane and send him off! I have a lot do in in my homeland. I have planned a trip to my favourite temple at Tirupathi and also to spend some quality time with my dad at the Ramana Maharshi's ashram in Tamil Nadu. I have to meet my friends, eat the vada sambhars at my favourite eateries, meet my Guru Ramesh Balsekar... I hope my plans are not washed away by the impending monsoon season! Sometime, living here, so far away from my people and country can seem like penal servitude! I know that the initial days will seem like a dream- the stench, the heat the cacophony on the streets will be overwhelming. Absence makes the heart grow fonder-I now also know that my very being is waiting for the day when I will smell th...

A couple of days ago, the howl of winds outside my window startled me . A gusty wind storm was blowing. The dry leaves were dancing across the streets like sparrows do. The pine trees were swaying wildly and the window pane was quietly vibrating. I wondered who was putting up this show and for whom! Perhaps it was only me who was looking out of the window. The trees were not bothered, the roads, the sky , the building could not care less. So why was this happening and to what effect?It occurred to me that it was only a happening - not happening to anyone . That thought took me to another realm. Things do not happen to anyone- life, death. birth, suffering, happiness- they happen- only we take delivery unto ourselves and say it is happening to me! The wind was not blowing for anyone- it was just blowing. No one needs to be concerned since no one exists. And , by some strange coincidence , the Zen book(Ta- Mo's teachings) I'm reading had these lines: All that is Can wake you T...

Last week, on Thursday, we were at a Indian Grocery store and after that I could not trace my leather gloves. It has been a severe winter and without it it was a painful task to get out in the morning to dust off the snow from my car. This was the second pair that I had lost in the last months and each costs $20- so you can imagine my upset at being stupid enough to repeat the mistake. On Friday morning, I saw that the car windows were covered with frost but I went to work with the scrapper , wearing just the woolen gloves. Later I started the car, turned on the heater, locked the car with the engine running using a spare key and stepped back into the warmth of my home and for a cup of coffee. In ten minutes, I was on my way to work. After parking the car in the basement I picked up my laptop bag, lunch bag, another plastic carry bag containing some winter wear and both car keys. Having pocketed the keys, I walked up to the digital employee ID scanner which opened the door to the build...

When I watch the Weather Channel, I see the Arctic cold spells in Michigan and Illinois and feel lucky! On Wednesday morning, when I woke up and peeped out I saw the gentle drift of snow flakes. Later, I stepped out, leather gloves, snow cap, snow shoes and two layers of clothing including a long coat and scrapper in hand. It feels like dusting the car off some “Atta” so the effort is not much- except when you have to clear hardened ice or snow... If you are covered up you can take it- no pain at all. You only need to be open to this new experience. I then get into the car, start the engine, turn on the heaters and step back into my home. The car gets nicely warm and cozy in 10 minutes and I drive off to work listening to Farida Khanum and Mehdi Hassan. The flakes keep coming at your windscreen and fly off the edges of the car. It is a wonderful sight. Today the temperatures are expected to be at -4 degrees Fahrenheit. I remind myself that Change is the only constant in life and there ...